This should surprise absolutely no one who was even
on the same campus as me this week. The story of Iron Hans caught my attention like nothing else has in a long time.
Although,
every time I see this picture, it comes pretty close.
However, after
retelling this story about… five times, to my family, friends, a team mate
while we were running, and to a group of people I have never actually met
before, I think I realize why this story did not catch on. To be to the point,
it is a long story with a lot of important parts to remember in order for the
story to work.
“How
dare you criticize this story! I will destroy you with my army of iron-clad
men!”
Now, I have read other
Grimms Fairy Tales that are guiltier of this than Iron Hans (I’m looking at you, King
of Golden Mountain), however when you compare it to a story like Hansel and Gretel this drawback becomes pronounced.
What would happen if you forget to mention the first part in Hansel and Gretel were Hansel thwarts
his step-mother by using flints, and instead just skipped to the bread crumbs?
Or if you forget to mention the duck that takes the children across the river,
and instead they just find their way home and they did not have to cross a
river? Does it alter the story that much… not really.
You
know, for kids who were nearly eaten by a witch living in a house made of cake,
these kids are oddly trusting of magical encounters.
Now, how about Snow
White? What If you forget to mention that Snow White let the Queen into the
house where the Queen then tried to kill her two times before the poisoned-apple
incident? Does it change the story that much? From my experience, the answer is
no.
In
fact, if you forget the first two times it kind of helps. It makes Snow White
seem like less of an idiot.
Now what about Iron
Hans? If you forget to mention that for a few years the princess stole the
Prince’s hat and saw his golden hair (which at the time seems like story-filler)?
Or that as he fled from the festival the Princess caught a glimpse of the Prince’s
golden hair? Without either of these two seemingly small details the Princess
would not be able to identify the Prince at the end of the story. You have to
remember these tiny details and when they are supposed to come up, otherwise
the story does not flow well.
“And
then, uh… did I mention the hair thing? Or that he pinched his finger? Darn it!
This story is great, please believe me!”
And
the morel? In Hansel and Gretel it
has a pretty clear message of “Stranger Danger” and the importance of cooperation
in bad situations, and yet at the same time the importance of self-reliance
(sometimes help is not coming and you have to save yourself). In Snow White the message is, again, pretty
strait forward; jealousy and envy are bad qualities which will make you do bad
things and will ultimately make you a bad person. (If taken literally, a bad
person who will be forced to dance to death while wearing red-hot iron shoes.)
In contrast I find myself having to justify my moral interpretation of Iron Hans every time I tell the story.
In the end, I think the only obvious, clear-cut message in this story is that
is awesome to know or to be Iron Hans.
“And
what is wrong with that?”
Again, I really do
enjoy this story, and will continue to sing its praises. There might even be an
expanded story that I will work on, or a sequel. Iron Hans II: The Re-Ironing! (working title). However, after retelling Iron Hans a few times, I can see why it was really popular (enough
to attract the Grimm brothers to record it and include it in their works), but also
why the tale has not gotten more attention. It is to this end that we must now
act. I call upon every man, woman, and child who has heard of the awesomeness
that is Iron Hans to spread the word
and drum up support! Together we can be the Iron Army of Iron Hans!!!!
“I
am an Iron Soldier of Iron Hans…. To Victory!!!”
Post 3 of 5
